The Joyful Practice for Women Lawyers with Paula Price | From Self-Doubt to “Leave it with Me”

Ep #13: From Self-Doubt to “Leave it with Me”

The Joyful Practice for Women Lawyers with Paula Price | From Self-Doubt to “Leave it with Me”

Self-doubt appears all the time for the lawyers I work with. And for myself personally, entering into a new phase in my practice is bringing up some of the feelings we’re discussing today. So if self-doubt is something you are dealing with, you’re in the right place.

 

When we set out to create something new or take on a new job, even when we’re feeling inspired, it can be a terrifying experience. We’re transitioning into something unfamiliar, there’s risk involved, and this can lead to a lot of self-doubt. But in this episode, I’m sharing my process for moving out of self-doubt and towards a mindset where we’re excited to take decisive action and have the self-belief to say, “Just leave it with me.”

 

Join me on the podcast this week to discover the truth about self-doubt. I’m discussing why there is nothing wrong with you if you experience self-doubt, even as an experienced professional. And once you can understand what self-doubt is and where it comes from, I’m giving you four tools that you can use to start moving through it towards real confidence.

 

If you enjoyed today’s show and don’t want to miss an episode, be sure to subscribe and follow the show. And if you haven’t already, please leave a rating and review! Your feedback will help me create a podcast that’s tailored to your needs and goes straight to the heart of what matters to you. Click here to learn how to subscribe, rate, and review.

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:
  • Where I see self-doubt coming up for the lawyers I work with and how it shows up in their work.
  • Why there is no reason to beat yourself up for experiencing feelings of self-doubt.
  • My own recent experience of noticing self-doubt coming up for the first time in a long time.
  • Why you can’t overcome self-doubt, overwhelm, or confusion without taking action.
  • How to look at your self-doubt from a more positive perspective.
  • Why self-doubt creeps in for even the most successful and experienced lawyers.
  • 4 tools that will help you move from a feeling of self-doubt towards a new level of confidence and understanding.
Listen to the Full Episode:

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Full Episode Transcript:

You’re listening to The Joyful Practice for Women Lawyers Podcast episode number 13.

Welcome to The Joyful Practice for Women Lawyers Podcast. I’m your host Paula Price, lawyer turned certified executive coach. This podcast was created to empower women lawyers just like you to create a life and practice you love. Join me every week for a break from the hustle so we can focus on you, what you truly want, and how you can create it.

If you’re over the overwhelm, done with putting out fires, and ready to create a life and practice that brings you more joy, you’re in the right place. Ready for today’s episode? Let’s dive in.

Hello my friends. Welcome to today’s podcast episode. For those of you who are returning guests, thank you so much for being here. I love having you here week after week. I’m really excited to connect with you today. For those of you who are joining for the first time, welcome. My name is Paula Price. I’m a lawyer turned certified executive coach for lawyers, and the host of this podcast.

I’m really excited to be bringing today’s episode to you. It’s a topic that resonates a lot with the clients that I work with. It resonates with the listeners of this podcast, those of you who are writing in and providing feedback about this podcast. It’s a topic that I am experiencing a little bit myself.

I’m about to enter into another phase of my practice, and that brings up some of these feelings that we’re going to be talking about. Feelings of self-doubt and questioning. And how you can actually overcome that. I’ll be giving you some concrete steps that you can take so that you can go from that feeling of self-doubt, overwhelm, whatever that looks like for you, and adopt a leave it to me attitude. I think you know what I’m talking about when I describe it like that.

To give you some background in terms of the inspiration for today’s podcast episode, I wanted to share a little bit about how I have spent my last few days. I have been in a training course. We are still in the pandemic existence. So this was a Zoom conference. It spanned over three days. Each day was over eight hours on Zoom. So you can imagine after 24 hours on my Zoom screen that I was feeling a small minor case of what some people call Zoom fatigue.

In fact I think my right eye may have been temporarily impacted. My husband saw me after three days. He had our kids out for most of that time. He said, “What happened to your eye Paula?” I was like I have no idea. It was a little bit pink. It has since resumed to its normal color, but this is I guess one of the downsides of doing everything on your computer.

I came out of that conference with a mixture of feelings. I felt totally inspired because it’s a program that’s going to help me reach the next level in my practice. It’s going to help me bring to fruition a dream that I’ve had for many years. I now actually see how I’m going to do this. It also raised a lot of the feelings that I have that I know that I experience whenever I set out to create something that doesn’t exist right now. For you who are listening, this I imagine looks like something in your practice.

For you, that might be you’re ready to take on a new job. You are thinking about it. You’re not sure if you want to do that. It’s going to be a big leap for you. You’re going to have to get adjusted in a whole new working environment. You’re not really comfortable with that idea yet. It may be that you are looking to take on a new type of assignment. There are these stretch opportunities that are at the same time terrifying because it’s something you’ve never done before. There’s risk involved. Yet you know that on the other side of that, you’re going to feel so great. You’re going to feel so accomplished.

So this is really where I found myself at the end of the weekend. After three days of Zoom, I thought, “Okay here’s this thing. I want to do it.” It brought up a lot of feelings of self-doubt, which I confess I haven’t really felt that way in some time. So it was something that I thought I would like to process this. I really want to talk to my listeners to help them process it as well.

So that’s how today’s episode came to fruition. I’m really excited to share today’s episode with you. I would invite you as we go through this episode as with all episodes that you think about what I’m talking about as it relates to you.

So you might be thinking about something right now that is a transition for you, that is a new project for you. Something that when you think about it, it brings up self-doubt. Work your way through the exercises mentally. If you like, after the podcast is done or if you’re listening to it in a place where you can pause and take notes, you can really sit down and go through these exercises or think about examples that would apply to your situation.

So the goal of today’s episode is for me to share with you. I’ve got four tools that I’m going to share with you. What I’m hoping you will be able to experience is to be able to move from a position of self-doubt, overwhelm, uncertainty over what to do next. Maybe a lack of certainty and fear. To move to a place of self-confidence, to a place where you believe in yourself, where you have clarity over what you’re going to do. Not necessarily clarity over every single step, but you have clarity over the direction that you want to go. And that you’re in a position where you’re taking decision action. So that is really what I’m hoping you’re going to gain from today’s episode.

Now chances are, I mean you are where you are now because you have accomplished a great number of things. You are done with law school. You’re working as a lawyer. Maybe you’re articling. Maybe you’ve advanced. Maybe you’re a partner. Maybe you have your own firm. I have worked with clients who are at all stages of their legal careers, and I don’t think it matters where you are in terms of the years of call or where you are in your practice. As long as you’re putting yourself in a position where you continue to grow and take on new challenges, you are constantly going to be evolving. There’s a certain level of nervousness that goes along with that.

It reminds me of a lawyer that I used to work with. A very senior QC who I would go to court with. I remember him saying to me, “It doesn’t matter how many times I go to court. I usually feel a little bit of nervousness beforehand. To me that’s a good sign. It means that I’m alert. It means that I am growing.” It wasn’t something that was taken as a negative.

I want you to think about that as well for yourself if you’re feeling self-doubt, if you’re feeling nervous. If there’s anxiety, if there’s overwhelm, I would invite you to look at that from a positive perspective. The perspective of giving yourself a pat on the back because you’re putting yourself into a situation where it may not be totally comfortable for you. We’re going to talk about that a little bit more as we go through today’s podcast.

So some of the things you might be trying to do to deal with these feelings of self-doubt or overwhelm is that you may simply avoid challenges. So that’s one approach. Another approach that you might be trying is to simply white knuckle your way through challenges. So you just put your head down and you force yourself to work on something even though you’re really not feeling very motivated or inspired to do it. Another thing that I see people do or the things that they may try to do is they may procrastinate. They may try to do it, but they do it on this procrastinating timeline.

The trouble with these different approaches is that it doesn’t necessarily give you the result that you’re seeking. So for example if you’re simply avoiding challenges that come up that cause you to feel self-doubt or nervousness, then you are probably not moving in the direction that you want to be going in.

So you might think of what opportunities have you shied away from that you would have envisioned yourself maybe six months out, a year out. You think, “Well, if I had taken on that opportunity, I’d be in such a different position from where I am right now.”  So that’s one downside. You may avoid putting yourself in a position of discomfort, but you’re also not gaining the rewards that come along with pushing yourself and growing.

If you are forcing yourself, the white knuckling approach, you may find that you are able to achieve at a certain level. However the experience that you go through to get there may not be very pleasant. You might find that you’re really pushing yourself. It’s uncomfortable. You’re beating yourself up. You’re really trying to force yourself into it. The result that you create may not be your best product.

If you think of it from the perspective of creativity and openness and allowing yourself to experiment and try new things, there’s a very different energy and something that happens at a neurological level that is quite different when you are trying and embarking on a new project from that open and accepting space versus when you are motivating yourself through fear.

So that may not be giving you the result that you want if what you’re doing is approaching challenges from a position of, “I have to do this. I must do this. I’m going to white knuckle myself into getting the result.” You may get a result, but it may not be the best result for you.

Finally this idea of delaying. So maybe you’ve got something that you really want to do but you keep putting it off. You maybe do it in dribs and drabs. So yes you are technically working closer getting towards your goal, but you may find that it’s taking so long that you lose motivation. You may even eventually abandon that project just because you’re not seeing the rewards fast enough.

If you’re working on something that has a deadline, it may be an argument that you’re writing or something that has a concrete deadline. You keep putting off getting started on that project. Where you may end up is in that really awkward position where you now have a deadline and you do not have enough time to do it to the best of your ability. I’ve had that come up with clients where they are really disappointed in themselves because they simply didn’t give themselves the time they needed to accomplish something. It really is a form of self-sabotage. You’re just not setting yourself up for success.

So I’m hoping that through today’s podcast episode, you’ll learn some tools that will help you avoid getting into those situations. If you do find yourself in those stations, I just want you to know it’s not your fault. I don’t want you to beat yourself up over this. This is so common. It’s just the way that human beings are wired. We are really wired to pursue pleasure and avoid pain. That’s really what’s going on here.

As I was preparing for today’s episode, I was thinking about how this is really a dilemma of discomfort. Either way you’re going to be picking a path that will lead to discomfort. The question is which flavor of discomfort do you want to take on?

So on the one hand, you have the discomfort of being stuck. If you don’t take action or if you take this forced action or really slow action, in a sense you’re stuck in a way where you are or you’re not getting to the place where you truly want to be. That’s one flavor of discomfort.

On the other hand, if you decide that you’re going to move forward with something, and you embark on that and you realize that that’s going to lead to a different kind of discomfort. I think ultimately what that discomfort looks like is dealing with the risk of falling. If the goal that you’ve set is big enough and it’s new enough and it’s enough out of your comfort zone, then by definition that is going to be the discomfort. The risk that you’re taking that it’s not going to work out the way that you want it.

So this podcast episode is really designed for those of you who are in that latter category where you have that goal in mind, and you’ve decided to go for it. These tips are applicable. So you may have to work on the decision to go for it. Once you do that, I think you’ll find these tips to be really helpful.

So I’ve mentioned I’m going to offer four tools. I’m going to get started on those right now. So the first tool is critical. It’s the decision to go all in. I can’t emphasize this enough. I had a wonderful conversation yesterday with a fellow coach where I was talking about this project that I am going to be working on. I am really excited about it. I think that it’s going to create so much value for all of you, for anyone who’s interested in the work that I’m doing and taking that work to the next level. I feel really strongly about it. I think it’s going to create a lot of impact frankly.

Yet there is a part of me that is resistant. I said you know; I am about 90% committed to doing this. I’m just not quite there yet. The response that I had was, “Well, okay there’s that 10%. That 10% is basically the equivalent of having the breaks on. So do you want to do this quickly or not?” When she put it that way, I was thinking about myself with my 10% emergency brake lever pulled up and the drag that has on my motivation, on my ability to move forward. It just became really clear to me that that 10%, even though I felt like I was doing a good job because I was 90% committed. That 10% is really going to hold me back.

An analogy that I’d like to offer is one actually that comes to mind with speaking with my husband. My husband is a dentist. He will talk about patients who sometimes have trouble opening their job the full way. What that means for him is that the work that he does takes longer because he doesn’t have as much room to move.

So you might imagine yourselves sitting in the chair of your dentist and having your mouth half open. Would you prefer to do that and have a procedure or a clearing or whatever it is take longer? Or would you rather open your mouth and have that procedure done more efficiently, more quickly.

Really it’s the same thing. I guess we don’t really have to sit in a chair to do that, but think about what it is you’ve got on your agenda and how much time you’re wasting, how much mental energy you’re expending in that zone of resistance where you’ve got the breaks on. How much freer and faster things would move if you allowed yourself to commit 100%.

If you’d like to explore that idea more, in podcast episode number seven I talk about non-negotiable standards. Really what I’m getting at in that episode is exactly this. It’s that idea of going 100% all in of making that commitment. Because once you make that decision, you free up your energy to focus 100% of your attention on accomplishing your goal.

So that is lesson number one. Tip number one is to go all in on whatever it is that your goal looks like. So whether that’s applying for a new job and deciding that you’re going to go for it. Whether it’s taking on a really challenging assignment and deciding no matter what you’re going to do it. Maybe it’s a health goal. Maybe you’ve been letting your health slide, and now you’re deciding that you know what? Enough is enough. I’m going to make that change, and I’m going to make that change now. Whatever it is that you’re making a decision about, I would encourage you to go all in.

The next step that I would like to offer to you, the next tool, is to take the approach of imagining yourself in the future and making decisions based on how you think you need to be to succeed in your goal versus how you are now.

One of the ways that I can explain this is using the be, do, have model. Be, do, have. When I underwent my coach training, I was introduced to this concept. Really what it’s rooted in is that we typically think that we need to do certain things so that we can have certain results. When those things happen, then we get to be the person that we want to be.

The be, do, have model invites you to flip that around. It invites you to think about okay, what is it that you want to create? What is the have? What is the result? For you, it might be a new job. If your goal is better health, it might be regular workouts and a nutritious way of eating. It may be that you want less stress in your life. You want to be productive without this constant sense of overwhelm.

It may be that you want a better time management system, right, where you feel like you’re on top of your work. You know exactly what’s on your agenda. You know when you’re going to get things done. You move through your day with ease instead of constantly feeling like you’re behind schedule, like you’re under the gun, like you’re letting somebody down.

It may also be that what you’re looking for is to build up your network or to build stronger relationships within your firm or outside of your firm or outside of your organization. So these are all things that you would like to have. They’re results. You would want to frame those in a certain way. I’m going to talk about that next. For now focusing on the be, do, have model, there’s a result that you’re seeking.

To get there you know you’re going to have to take certain steps. This is where we get into the do. This is where you’re taking action. This is where—and I would like you to think about this as part of your action. You’re going to fail and have to try again. If you set for yourself a goal that is far enough out of your comfort zone, chances are things aren’t going to go perfectly every single time. So when you’re thinking about the be, do, have model, you’re not just going to have to take action. You’re also going to have to retake action. I would invite you to think about that because in particular that will help inform you who you need to be.

So if you think about that version of yourself that’s sometimes in the future. So let’s say it’s a six month goal. In my case, I’m looking at a one year goal. I’m looking at there’s a conference that I attended over a weekend will take place again in August 2022. At that point in time, I’m planning to have reached a number of milestones in relation to my goal. I think about okay, who do I need to be? Who do I see myself as in the future a year from now? What did I have to do? Who did I have to be to get to that position?

Think about that. If you imagine yourself, who are you in that moment. Some words that came to mind in terms of who I need to be at that point. I will need to be a person who has been courageous, persistent. I will need to have shown myself self-compassion when things didn’t go my way. I’m assuming that they’re not always going to go my way. To have self-compassion, to not beat myself up if and when I make a mistake.

Somebody who shows up in service. When I see that future version of myself, that person showed up in service and was really looking at the broader goal, at the broader vision, the impact that she was trying to create.  Finally, that person doesn’t judge herself. She’s not sitting there wasting time judging herself or beating herself up. That person is looking forward to creating and building.

When I see that person in the future and I’ve written out some of these attributes that she has, I don’t need to wait to achieve that goal. I don’t have to be in the have stage or even the do stage to embody those characteristics and nor do you. When you look at your future and you look at the goals you’re trying to accomplish and who you need to be to get there, I would invite you to make that list. Make it as clear as day what those characteristics are. You can start to be those traits right now.

So this is step number two is be, do, have. Be that person today and you’ll be able to take those steps, and you’ll work towards having the thing that you’re ultimately working towards.

The third step that I’m going to invite you to consider is to create a plan. As a coach, I spend a lot of time creating plans. I work with my clients to help them create plans. I create plans for myself. I love creating plans. It’s a huge part of what I do, especially if you’re looking at time management or if you’re looking at creating a goal. If you’re looking at transitioning your goal if you’re looking at creating a better health plan. So much. Just writing down a plan is so satisfying. It really helps get clarity.

So, of course, you won’t be surprised to hear that that’s one of the steps that I recommend if what you’re feeling right now is overwhelm. This works so effectively. I’ve had so many conversations with clients where they come to me, and they feel stuck. They feel like they’re not able to move forward. There’s a lot of self-doubt. There’s maybe just confusion or overwhelm. The minute we take pen to paper, or what I’ve been doing often is opening up a document on a Zoom screen. Saying where are we now and where do you want to be. Let’s start thinking about what we need to do to get there.

The minute you start putting pen to paper and you start outlining the things that need to happen, it really dissolves a lot of the overwhelm and the self-doubt because you start to see with more clarity and granularity the steps that you need to take.

So what I recommend when you’re creating a plan is to pick a date and a goal. Have a nice clear result that you’re looking for. It just makes it easier for you to focus on what you need to do to get there.

Another thing that I would suggest doing, and this is especially if you’re looking at a goal that has a really long timeline. So the goal that I have for myself, I’m looking at it on a year time frame. I think that’s a way for me to wrap my head around what it is that I’m trying to create because it’s a biggish project. For you it might be a biggish project. So I don’t know all of the little steps that I’ll need to take to get there.

If I was writing a legal memo, for example, I would be able to outline with pretty good clarity at least the steps that I would need to take to get there. When it’s something that’s a little bit more amorphous, when you’re creating something that may not exist yet. Maybe you are creating your own law firm. You don’t know exactly what steps you’re even going to need to take. You might break down your steps into milestones. Then as your process unfolds, you’ll be able to populate your milestones with more discreet action steps and results that you’re seeking to accomplish.

So depending on the size of your goal, the duration of your goal, I would recommend that you break it up into steps. Break it up into milestones. However you can make it smaller, at least a step smaller, so that you’re not just looking at one thing without having any clue how you’re going to get there.

I talked about time in terms of having a deadline for your goal. It’s also really important to give yourself time to work on your goal. If it’s a work related goal, chances are you’ve got that time baked in already. You’re at your desk. You’ve got a brief that you’re writing. You’ve got a trial that you’re working on, a closing that you’re working on. There may be something that you’re trying to do in relation to that that is new, that is foreign, that is outside of your comfort zone, but you know that you’ve got the work time allocated to that. That’s great.

If what you’re working on is something that is not immediately inside of your workday. So it might be networking. It might be looking for that new job. It might be building up your skill set, something that may not be absolutely crucial for you to have right now but something you want to build. Maybe you’re a lawyer that practices litigation and you want to improve your advocacy skills. Maybe there’s not a ton of opportunities to do that within the file load that you have right now. So you maybe need to seek out additional opportunities. So you’ll need time not only to plan for those things but also to execute on those things.

So allocate time. Maybe it’s every Monday you spend two hours. Maybe it’s every Friday afternoon you spend 30 minutes. Whatever amount of time you can allocate, if it’s important to you then I recommend putting that time on your calendar and sticking to it so that you are giving your goal the time that it deserves for you to make it happen.

For any of you who are interested in creating a plan, I recommend going to episode number six. It was all about using a GREAT! goal framework. If you go to the notes for that episode, there is a download form that you can download off the internet. It’s a GREAT! goal framework. That will give you prompts that you can use to create a goal for yourself. It’s a really effective tool. I often use it myself. I have shared it with clients, and they have used it to achieve success themselves. So I would encourage you to go and check that out.

The next step, the final step, is to number four, take forward action. Whenever you set a goal, there is that planning stage. Well at least if you follow this structure, and if you do this yourself there is that planning stage where I really think of as being the more cerebral part of the process. It’s where you’re thinking about what you’re going to do, but you’re not necessarily taking action that would have impact in the outside world.

For some of us, especially those who like to procrastilearn where we spend a lot of time doing research to think about what steps would be good steps. If you have perfectionism and you want things to be perfect before you take any action, before you put your work out in the world, before you take on that more challenging assignment. There can be this real resistance in moving from that place of thinking about what you want to do and actually acting on it.

So if you find yourself in that position especially then these tips I think will be really helpful for you. So when it comes to taking forward action, I’m going to offer you four different strategies to do that, especially if you find it difficult to make that transition from thinking about something to doing something about it. Before I offer that, I just want to also add here that until you start taking those actions, you’re not going to have feedback. So you won’t know how to grow and learn.

So an easy example of this might be if you’re trying to network. Maybe you think in your mind, “I’d really like to find a mentor. I’d really like to find somebody that I can collaborate with on a speaking project.” Until you start asking people, until you start reaching out to them and inviting them to join you in whatever it is that you’re trying to invite them to, you will not know if your approach is working. Whether those people will want to work with you. The only way to test that is to actually go out and take that step. So I think that’s a really clear example.

I would invite you to take those steps as soon as possible because you’ll get your feedback faster. So when you do go to take those steps, I mentioned there’s four different ideas that I have here. Number one is let it be easy. I think as lawyers there is a tendency because you’re working in a world where there can be so much complexity and there is such an eversion—Sorry, aversion. I don’t think eversions. Maybe it’s an e-version of something, like electronic.

If you have an aversion, for example, to things that have the possibility of negative consequences. If you are averse to risk. We’ve probably heard of this idea of a negativity bias, and lawyers in particular tend to be very fine tuned when it comes to seeing possible risks and potholes because so much of the training emphasizes the importance of seeing risk and acting on it.

So in this case if what you’re doing is creating a goal for yourself or you’re taking on a new challenge, I would invite you to do the opposite. Rather than thinking about all the ways that something can go wrong, think about how you can make this easy for yourself. What is the easiest way that I can do this?

So if it’s a question of networking, for example, rather than wait for the next industry event which maybe it’s in person at this stage. Most likely it’s online. You’re then waiting for somebody else to organize it. Waiting for that next date. What could you do right now that’s really easy? Maybe it’s reaching out to somebody on LinkedIn. Maybe it’s sending an email to somebody that you met a few years ago, even who is a potential interest for what it is that you’re trying to do.

Whatever the easiest possible step is, I would invite you to start with that. Let it be easy. Ask yourself the question. This is a great question. I ask it of myself often. How can I make this easy for myself? Your brain will start to supply some answers, and then you can act on those.

Step number two is to take small steps. If you can, start with an easy win. When it comes to change, I’ve spoken about neuroplasticity before in the podcast. It’s something that I find totally fascinating. One of the principals that comes out of this is we tend to, as humans, we tend to fall into habits. Habits are really your brain’s way of being more efficient. So things that you do frequently become hardwired. If you would like to change those things, then you can change faster if you deliberately set out to achieve something different. If you deliberately set out to change a habit.

I was thinking about this yesterday. I had a conversation with my son. My son has a habit sometimes of really resisting a new idea. It doesn’t mean that he will not follow along with that idea, But I need to sit with him and stay firm with him at the outset so that he’s able to process that new idea and then ultimately reach the point where he accepts that new idea and he goes along with it. It’s not just my son who does this. I do this myself.

I mentioned that I was having this sort of episode of self-doubt. I don’t know if I would go so far as to call it an episode, but feelings of self-doubt in relation to a new project that I’m really committed to. It’s something that I really want to do. If you listen to my podcast about fear, and I’m actually going to talk about that in a moment. You’ll know that before I launched my podcast, I had this sense of fear around it.

So similarly when embarking on this new project, I have a bunch of feelings about self-doubt. Oh should I really be doing this? Can I do this? What about all these things? Then my brain sort of jumped to all these potential ways that I can fail. So I know that about myself. I know that there’s this habit that my brain has that when I set out to do something new, sometimes it will offer up this path. I also know that if I keep moving forward that I will move through that.

Conversely I also know about myself—and you have probably seen this about yourself as well—that there are certain success habits that I have. So think about this in relation to things. Think back on areas where you have had challenges and how you’ve overcome them. Also think about where you have really achieved success in your professional life, in your personal life.

For me, there are examples that I have where I can remember just having an idea in mind and being 100% committed to that. I remember having people tell me, “You’re never going to be able to do this. That is impossible.” My internal response to that was wait and see. Let’s see. Let’s see if I can achieve it. It has been so powerful to just go ahead and do that. So if that is something that you can relate to, and I know it is. I know you’re able to relate to situations where you’ve come out on top where you’ve been successful even in the face of really big challenges.

Ask yourself what habits you have that allowed you to get there. Because I bet once you look at those and you start isolating the meta skills that you have that got you there whether it’s being decisive, whether it’s committing to action, whether it’s not taking no for an answer. Whether it’s getting up no matter how bad the failure. Whether it’s committing to the vision. Whatever those tools are for you, I would invite you to think about what habits you have already that allow you to build on your success.

So again going back to the take small steps. I’m sorry, I took us on a little bit of a tangent. If where you are right now, if your default way of thinking is, “I doubt myself. I doubt my ability to do this. Therefore I shouldn’t even bother trying.” I would encourage you to take small steps. Because as you take those small steps, you’re going to slowly chip away at that habit that you have of not acting. So take small steps my friends.

The next item that I have here is number three is plan for fear. I mentioned I did an episode about fear. As you embark on your journey, especially if you’re stretching yourself, things will come up that maybe are foreign to you. So I would just invite you to allow yourself to know that this is normal. It’s part of the process. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. Nothing has gone wrong. Allow yourself that fear. Do it anyway.

So if you’re interested in this, go check out episode number five. It’s all about how to deal with fear. I highly encourage you to listen to that episode because I know it’s something that comes up for me. I’ve always managed to work through it. No matter the result I’m satisfied, I’m happy at the end of the day that I did.

Finally step four is to focus on your vision. So here I would encourage you to think about what it is that you’re working towards. Rather than focus on yourself and how you feel and how maybe you’re nervous about doing something, I’d invite you here to really focus about who you’re going to be serving, how you’re showing up in service whether it’s to your clients, whether it’s to the profession, whether it’s to other lawyers, whether it’s to your family, your friends. How are you showing up in service? I would invite you to think about the impacts that you’re creating by acting.

Finally I would invite you to think about the significance of what it is that you’re working on. Again this is going back to impact, but the significance in terms of impact it’s going to have on others and the significance that it has to you. What is your why? What is important to you about this project?

If you go to the worksheet that I mentioned attached to episode six and I think we’ll also be attaching a direct link in the show notes. Go to the GREAT! goal worksheet because there is a question there about the significance of your goal. Because when you’re able to identify what is important to you about achieving a certain goal, it gives you so much more energy and motivation and purpose. It really fuels your ability to work through those different stages, especially when you come up against challenges and roadblocks.

So the reason that these steps are going to work for you is that when you practice these different steps and you start to get results, you are going to be able to transition from that feeling of self-doubt. You’ll be able to work through that self-doubt, and you’ll develop confidence. It’s that leave it to me attitude.

I was talking to a client recently who’s interviewing. What I said to her is you want to be answering those questions in a way that the person who’s interviewing you has the confidence that when they have an assignment and they ask you to run with it, they know they can do that. They can leave it with you and it’s going to get done.

So think about what language that is for you. It’s that leave it to me attitude. I’ve got this. I’ve got my own back. Yeah I’m going to get this done. Whatever language you need, whatever resonates with you to give you that can do attitude, leave it with me. When you’ve got that attitude, you will be able to rise to the challenge, and you’ll be able to rise to future challenges.

So that’s what I have to offer today. I will invite all of you to check out that goal sheet that I recommended. I think if you’ve got a goal in mind, if you’ve got a challenge in mind, absolutely start with that. Review it and think about it in relation to the steps that we’ve outlined today. I think these are steps that are absolutely either helping me get on top of the big project that I’m working on, which I’m so excited to share with you when it’s ready. I think you’re all going to really love it. So that’s coming up.

Think about it in relation to the challenge that you have whether it’s a new job, whether it’s a promotion, whether it’s a new assignment, whether it’s your health goals. Whatever that looks like to you, I invite you to think about how you can apply these tools. Use that worksheet. Let me know. I love hearing from you. I love hearing about how this podcast is having an impact in your life. So please tell me about that. Yeah, really. Go after it. You can do this.

So to recap what we talked about today. What are the stages, what are the steps that I recommend? Number one is to make a decision to go ahead on your goal. Go all in. 100%. Don’t even have that 1% dragging you back. You don’t need it. Go for it. You’ve got this. Number two is to adopt the be, do, have model. Don’t wait until you’ve done all the things and created the results that you want before you become that person that you are seeking to be. Be heard now.

The next step, number three, is to plan. Create a plan for yourself so you’ve got a framework. You can use that framework to give yourself clarity, to give yourself confidence, and to have a step by step process that you can follow. As I mentioned a few times, there is a goal framework downloadable sheet that you can access off the internet.

Finally take action. Take action. That’s really where the rubber meets the road. That’s really where you’re going to start seeing the result. When you do that, I highly recommend making it easy. Ask yourself how can I make this easy. Take small steps. Plan for fear. So, again, go back to that episode if that’s going to be a challenge for you and if the goal is big enough. I imagine it likely will be. Finally show up in service. Think about the impact that you’re creating when you create this goal for yourself. When you have that behind you, it will fuel your actions and give you that confidence that you need to move forward.

So with that my friends, it has been a pleasure having you here. Thank you again for joining me. I look forward to connecting with you again next week. Bye for now.

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Thank you for listening to this episode of The Joyful Practice for Women Lawyers podcast. If you want more information, visit www.thejoyfulpractice.com. See you next week.

 

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